Tir Na n'Fir

In Which the Druid Gives Her God the Finger

So the Druid, Elf, Bard, Assassin and I continue to chill out around the cave as it continues to storm. Druid is meditating, Elf and Bard are attempting to figure out how best to make a cart, Assassin is doing her thing (she stays mostly on her own), and I’m talking to my Orb and learning Firewherian. Eventually the storm ends and we move ourselves outside to be in the sun a bit. After sitting around outside for awhile, we spot a shiny wavy thing in the sky. It’s too far away to tell what it is, so we just decide to keep an eye on it for changes.

Eventually it gets close enough to determine what it is. Goody for us, it’s another dragon. However, it seems like it’s making itself move in a way to be shining its scales directly at us. Weird. As it continues to get closer the Elf and Bard move into the cave and the Assassin seems to disappear. Druid and I say fuck it and continue doing our stuff outside. If it’s really coming towards us, hiding in a cave is probably not going to save us.

Soon enough, the dragon lands nearby. It’s gigantic and looks a lot like our platinum pieces. As the Druid and I watch it to see what’s going on, our Stoner walks out from between its legs! He thanks the dragon for the ride as both the Druid and I try to keep our jaws off the ground. Stoner comes over and introduces us to the dragon (not by name, but he tells us what he is: the freaking GOD OF DRAGONS) and tells us about their discussions and star adventure. (How does he get himself in these positions? It’s crazy! Not bad necessarily, but what the heck? So crazy!)

After the Assassin realizes that the dragon must not be after us, she reappears and joins in the discussion. The Druid mentions that we defeated the Jade dragons, which interests the Platinum dragon. He walks over to the entrance of the cave and blows into it. Somehow, after the dragon breathes into the cave, all of the Jade dragon’s stuff has disappeared. The Bard and Elf, both of whom are still in the cave, are plastered against the wall by the power of the dragon’s breath. After pulling themselves off the wall both head out and join in the conversation.

The dragon hangs out while we tell the Stoner what has gone on since he disappeared. We give him shit for destroying our cart, even if he meant well. We tell him about the new leyline and the new stuff we found. We inform him of all of the stuff that we lost and can’t find and discuss what we should do about our cartlessnes. The dragon stays pretty quiet, mostly just watching us, but will talk to us every once and awhile.

I decided that I’m going to take the knowledge potion and talk to the Druid and Assassin about what sort of questions I should ask. We decide on the three questions: one on how to create another 7 leaf clover to create luck dies, another on the best way to get to Mummer, and a third on the location of Cartman the Paladin. While we’re talking, the Stoner and others talk to the dragon about the best way to get to Mummer. The dragon suggests going through the plains that contain the horsemen instead of continuing on through the dragon mountains.

I take the potion and begin asking my questions:

1. How do I create a 7 leaf clover that will give the consumer a luck die?

The clover must be picked on the anniversary of the creation of the leyline and a spell must be preformed on the clover on the anniversary every year for 70 years. If the spell is interrupted in any way then I have to start all over again. (So much work! I wonder if I can find any more pre-prepared clovers?)

2. What is the best way to get to Mummer?

On foot. (eyeroll)

I decide for the third question that because I had pretty crappy luck with phrasing the second question, I’m just going to ask something for myself. I don’t know how to phrase a question to find the location of Cartman, and I don’t want to waste this potion completely. I think for awhile about what to ask and eventually come up with a question:

3. What knowledge and information do I need to learn in order to be able to control and use Firewherian magic?

In order to use Firewherean magic, I need to learn the sphere of “Firewhereian Magic” which is just like any other sphere in the magic realm.

I talk to my Orb and it tells me that I first need to learn the language of Firewherean, just like I have been, and eventually I will need to pick up a Firewherean spell book and study that.

While I am asking all of these questions, the Stoner decides to go find an oak tree to begin making a new cart. The dragon follows him and they go all the way down the mountain to the plains. The dragon questions why he is looking at the trees and the Stoner explains that he’s trying to find a tree to make a cart out of. He points to a very large oak tree and explains what we need to do to make a cart. The dragon seems very confused, but pulls the large oak that the Stoner was talking about out of the ground (sans dirt, which is weird) and places it in front of the Stoner. The Stoner thanks him and asks if the dragon could help him make the tree into planks. The dragon seems even more confused and after a moment roars into the sky. He tells the Stoner to wait for three days and flies away.

Eventually the Elf notices that the Stoner has been gone for a really long time and goes after him. The Bard and the Druid go along with him down the mountain. The Assassin and I stay at the cave with our stuff, as I’ve been getting annoyed with everyone in the party excepting the Assassin and Bard. So, while we stay near the cave chatting, the others go down and find the Stoner waiting near the large oak that the dragon pulled out of the ground. They decide to wait with him down there.

The Stoner does his daily service and all the animals come again, which confuses the heck out of everyone. It means we don’t need a watch though, so that’s cool. In the next few days things go pretty well, though very boring. The Stoner and Druid plant acorns and the Elf kind of just hangs out with the Bard.

On the third day, though, they spot something coming towards the tree and them. When it gets close enough, they figure out that it is a bunch of Dwarves carrying a gigantic sled thing. The Dwarves eventually arrive and seem very weirded out by our request for them to make planks for a cart. They do it though, using this gigantic machine. When they finish there is a metric ton of planks. They leave and the Stoner and Elf work on making a cart.

By this time, the Bard has come back up to the top of the mountain and told us what’s going on. We chill up at the cave while the Elf, Stoner, and Druid hang out down with the planks. The Elf is making a good headway on a cart, while the Stoner gets frustrated and realizes that it’s going to be very difficult to make wheels. He stops working and begins heading back up the mountain. The Elf continues working, and the Druid, who by this time is frustrated with everyone decides
“Whatever, I’m just going to meditate again, damnit.”

The Druid sits and begins meditating, and after a few seconds Ona’s daughter begins talking to her. The daughter offers to transport us and our things back to Mummer if the Druid agrees to worship her. The Druid thinks for awhile and decides that since Ona has been being such a bitch lately, Yeah! She agrees.

The Elf is the first of the group to experience the darkness closing in on all sides, and soon after the Stoner, Bard, Assassin, and I all get sucked into the dark as well.

Each one of us sees a Sylvan tree (and a couple chickens) as the only light in the darkness. The Bard approaches and carefully steps onto the silver grass surrounding the tree. Suddenly, he’s in Mummer! Specifically, in GrandTier’s backyard. The Druid is next in line to arrive and surprises the heck out of the Bard by suddenly appearing and hugging the tree. I’m next, and not as willing to just go and touch the weird silver tree that is just floating in the dark. Since I’m still holding my Orb, I ask it about the tree. It says that it’s a Sylvan and offers to talk to it for me. I ask if there is anyone around the tree and the Orb replies that there is a Bard and a Druid. Good enough, I go and touch the tree and end up next to a crazy tree hugging Druid.

The Stoner is next, and just as wary of crazy glowing trees as I am. He ends up touching the grass and gets transported. The Assassin is one of the last transported and appears in a very defensive stance. She’s even more confused than anyone, because she has never been to GrandTier’s. I try to talk to her as we wait for our last group member.

The Elf opens his eyes and sees the silver Sylvan tree. His first thought is that he somehow died while making the cart and now is on his way towards Elf Heaven. He goes straight to the tree and appears next to us blabbering on about how the Elven Armour belongs to the tree. After he arrives, all of our stuff begins appearing, even the stuff that we lost. We begin to collect everything when we see thousands of planks appear in midair over the town below. Ona’s daughter obviously didn’t think about the fact that we had THOUSANDS OF PLANKS and transported them without finding a place for them. The planks crash down and destroy a ton of houses below. This alerts GrandTier’s family and they come rushing out.



I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.